She’s A Real Dish
Restaurant | TN, USA(I’m in college, and have a job at the sub shop on campus. A young man has ordered his food and is watching me make his sandwich.) Customer: “So, do you enjoy working here?” Me:...
View ArticleThat Explains The High-Speed Leather Balls
Restaurant | Hiawatha, IA, USA(While we were still in high school, my boyfriend and I went through a rough patch that was really hard on me. Because of this, my parents hate him. One year later, my...
View ArticleHow To Sour The Sweet And Sour
Restaurant | Houston, TX, USA(My girlfriend and I are sitting at a Taiwanese restaurant, looking at the menu.) Girlfriend: “I think I’m going to be adventurous this time!” (A waiter walks up to the...
View ArticleDivorce For Dessert, Part 2
Restaurant | TX, USAHusband: “I’m going to defer to your judgment on this, since you are the more sensible one.” Me: “Oh, wow, I am! I’m so used to you being better at me than everything. But you’re...
View ArticleMoney Can’t Buy You Love But It Can Pay For Weddings
Restaurant | Burnaby, BC, Canada(My boyfriend has recently bought some lottery tickets. We are talking about what we would do with the money if he won.) Boyfriend: “What would you do if I won the...
View ArticleNuts About Each Other
Restaurant | Austin, TX, USA (My boyfriend and I are trying a new restaurant close by us. A lot of the popular local restaurants have buckets of peanuts still in the shells on the table, and it’s...
View ArticleA Shellfish Boyfriend
Restaurant | QLD, Australia(I can’t eat seafood, and my boyfriend of two months knows this. It is a few days before my birthday.) Boyfriend: “Babe, I’ve booked a restaurant for lunch on your birthday.”...
View ArticlePray They Weren’t Getting Down On Friday
Restaurant | Tampa, FL, USA(My boyfriend and I are having lunch on a Sunday.) Boyfriend: “Did you want to do something after this?” Me: “We could go sleep off this food coma!” Boyfriend: “It’s Sunday!...
View ArticleHe Knows All, Period, Part 2
Restaurant | USA(I am in a bad mood, so my boyfriend decides we should eat out with his brother and sister-in-law to cheer me up.) Sister-In-Law: “Come on hon, smile! Be happy!” Me: “Meh…” Boyfriend:...
View ArticleTheir Point Was Registered
Restaurant | Valparaiso, IN, USA(My fiancée and I are both female, and are going out for dinner to celebrate the end of the grad school year. There are two guys in head-to-toe sports gear next to us.)...
View ArticleToo Lazy To Enlighten The Load
Restaurant | Vancouver, BC, Canada(My boyfriend and I are leaving a restaurant with his parents.) Boyfriend: “Where are you off to now?” Me: “I’m going to my place. You can come if you want.”...
View ArticleDid Not Pass With Flying Colors
Restaurant | NC, USA(I am going on a first date with a guy from my school. He is in a fraternity, and we knew him in the coffee shop where I worked as the ‘Easter Egg Guy’. This is because he is always...
View ArticleHe Isn’t Painting A Pretty Picture
Restaurant | Charleston, SC, USA(My boyfriend and I are waiting for our food to arrive. He has picked up his silverware roll and is pretending it is a paintbrush, and is painting my face.) Me: “Did…...
View ArticleBare-Faced Insults
Fast Food, Restaurant | FL, USA(My boyfriend and I use the acronym SYF when we get into silly arguments. It means ‘Shut Your Face’. We are in a fast-food restaurant waiting to order.) Me: “So, what do...
View ArticleTrue Love Has No Hidden A-Genders
Restaurant | AZ, USA(My friend and I stop in for hamburgers and fries. My friend is extremely tall, and in the process of getting the last of her gender reassignment surgeries. I have very short hair,...
View ArticleLove All, Trust A Few, Do Wrong Unto Nun
Restaurant | CA, USA(My boyfriend brings me out to dinner with his parents, his aunt, and her two friends, who turn out to be two visiting elderly nuns.) Nun #1: “You both are so cute!” Boyfriend:...
View ArticleA Minty Fresh Relationship
(We are at an Italian restaurant, where they give mints at the end of the meal. Usually they just give one per person, but this time they gave two. I pass my husband his two, and he grabs one, leaving...
View ArticleLa Femme Lolita
Restaurant | Corpus Christi, TX, USA(My girlfriend and I are Lolitas; we dress in over-the-top, frilly, rococo-inspired clothing for fun. Since my girlfriend is tall and thin, people often mistake her...
View ArticleSuing For Sushi
Restaurant | Malaysia(We are out double dating with another couple. The other girl is a lawyer.) My Boyfriend: “What do you want to have for dinner?” Me: “I’m not sure yet. What do you want?” My...
View ArticleDream Relationship
Restaurant | Fort Collins, CO, USA(My fiancé and I have gone out to a build-your-own-burger restaurant on a whim. The waitress brings the check.) Waitress: “And just so you know, we’re currently having...
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