(An old friend and I have met up for the first time in years. We decide to have a meal and go to a local restaurant. We are both male.)
Me: *waiting to be seated* “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if people thought we were a couple, with how much we bicker.”
Friend: *blushing* “Haha, yeah.”
(We’re seated and look at the menu. Our waitress comes over.)
Waitress: “Are you sharing drinks?”
Me: “I suppose we could. Your pallet hasn’t changed much, has it?”
Friend: *to the waitress* “We aren’t together. We’re single… This isn’t a date.”
Waitress: “Yes… So, sharing or no?”
Me: “Yes, please.”
Friend: “But we aren’t together!”
(We decide on separate drinks and finish our order. My friend tries another couple of times to convince the waitress that were aren’t a couple.)
Friend: “I think I convinced her.”
Me: “That what, we’re a low key gay couple who are ashamed to be together in public?”
Friend: “But, I… no!” *standing up* “Just to be clear. WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!”
Woman: *on next table* “Yeah. Half the restaurant got that.” *to me* “You can so much better, you know.”
(I burst out laughing as my friend sits back down and blushes. We pretty much spend the rest of the night in awkward silence. The waitress brings the bill.)
Me: “I can pay.”
Waitress: “Oh, I see. You’re the breadwinner!”
Friend: “OH, MY GOD! WE—”
Me: “Calm down! She’s joking!”
(He then stormed out muttering at how ridiculous I was being. I don’t want to read too much into it, but he hasn’t spoken to me since, and all of it is making me wonder if he isn’t as secure in his sexuality as I thought he was.)
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